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  • Writer's pictureVickie Turley

Growing in Grace - Week 2

My journey toward growth in the areas of giving and receiving grace was fairly straight-forward this week.


I noticed that I gave myself grace in some different areas, especially when a short-term goal of mine didn't get met. I chose to celebrate the small win I had and then I adjusted that goal to make it more realistic and achievable.


I also noticed that I tried to give grace to others. I had a couple of friends who, when we were talking, wanted to "beat themselves up" over some things that they had or had not done. I tried to encourage and uplift them, laughing the entire time at how I can give it to others so much better than I give it to myself.


Then I noticed that I may not do as good about giving grace to closer family members. I found myself getting frustrated about a situation. I found myself thinking how I would do it in that same scenario. I found myself wanting to give my opinion, even though I hadn't been asked.


Is it just me or is it sometimes harder to be understanding, forgiving, compassionate, when it's a member of your family? I think there are a couple of reasons, at least in my case, as to why I do this:


I love them beyond words and I want the best for them; I think I know what's best for them.
I am the oldest of my siblings, so I have the "big sister" syndrome; I can fix anything.
I've known them for so many years, and there have been disagreements, so I think about those at the same time that I feel concern for them; I get triggered by those past events and it affects my feelings.

Is anything striking a cord with anyone else? If so, here's what I've learned:


Look at the way those bullet points are written - I love them, I want the best, I can fix, I get triggered. It's not really about that family member - it's about ME! It's not about how to figure out what they want, it's not about them fixing a situation - it's all about how I would do it! And God isn't anywhere in those scenarios. UGH!


So in Week 3 on my growth journey in Grace, I will be more focused on God and what He wants in a situation. And that begins with my slowing down, listening to what is being said without wanting to immediately answer, and then taking a pause. My sweet friend, Cendrine, taught me some breathing exercises that might be helpful in this situation so this would be a great time to starting using some of those.


Pause and Breathe

I will try to do better to keep my mouth closed when I'm not asked about my opinion; I will try to stay calm and listen when discussing something with a family member; I will try to pause and think about what God would want me to say. Maybe that's as simple as, "I'm so sorry, I'm going to pray for this situation." Or maybe it's just to say, "I love you so much!."


For Week 2, I think I will give myself a grade of B-.


I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments. How do you extend grace with close family members?

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sgastenveld
Jan 12

Love you sister! Continue to grow and take in all God is showing you!

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