Healing from the Inside Out

I have to admit - I didn't truly understand what healing from the inside out meant until this year! And I'm 66 years old (okay, sometimes it takes me awhile).

As most of you know, there's been a lot of trauma in my life. Throughout the years, I've been to a lot of counseling. And there lies the key - I've been TO a lot of counseling, but I never truly went THROUGH counseling until this year.

Inside the body

I have a sweet friend whom I met (virtually) in a bible study team leader group. We were in the same training group together and I immediately noticed that her posts were so heartfelt. She made me want to know her better so we started messaging each other - thoughts about the study we were doing, ways to encourage and uplift the ladies who were in our studies, and prayers for each other. I then felt comfortable to start sharing when personal things were happening - to get her prayers, her advice, her wisdom. Over the course of a year, we became close friends. She told me she was a counselor - not a licensed therapist - but a knowledgeable counselor who is always in training herself, keeping up with techniques, praying as to what God would have her incorporate into her sessions. She told me about a 3 month course that she was about to "put out into the world" and asked me if I'd like to be a beta tester. I told her I would pray about it. I explained that I had been in counseling many times over the years and honestly, it just never "took." I do have to say that I was very intrigued, as she combines her faith in God with science!

I decided to take the plunge. Honestly, I felt I was doing it more for her than for me. I would test out the system, find the bugs, plug in the holes, and she would be good to go! Little did I know what God had in store for me!

From the time we began until the very end, it felt like God and my friend had been secretly planning this for years! It was hard, because I went "through" the hurts, the pain, the disappointments, and the lies that had built up through the years. There were days I cried; there were days I was angry; there were days I thought, I can't do this. But I did the work, I did the homework, and little by little, I began to see what counseling should be, at least for me.

For me, I needed someone who would not just agree with me, but would challenge me. I needed someone who would keep me on track. I needed someone who, when I would say, "It's too hard," would not let me off the hook. I needed someone who understood what the other side could look like! I needed someone who could guide me through all the yuck and the ugly and the nasty and help me see the oerson that God sees. I needed someone who truly cared about me and cared about my outcome. And, because she was a Christian, and I am a Christian, God and prayer were a integral part of my journey!

I began to look deep inside myself - at how I saw myself, how I felt about myself - and I began to heal that deep part first. Through her, I began to see God more clearly than ever before. I began believing Him more fully than ever before. I began trusting Him more completely than ever before. And it began to radiate outward. I began to show different things to others. I began to Be Capable, I began to Be the person for this job, I began to Be in the Right Spot at the Right Time, I began to Be the person God meant for me to be. And when you believe and live what God tells you, the world is a different place!

And we also thank God continually because, when you received the word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as a human word, but as it actually is, the word of God, which is indeed at work in you who believe. I Thessalonians 2:13

The Word of God is truly at work in my friend. And I'm now seeing the Word of God at work in me. This was some of the hardest work I have ever done. But wow - the changes, the healing that starts deep down,and radiates outward, is amazing and I believe it will be long-lasting.

Please don't misunderstand what I am saying. Yes, I'm healing - but I am still a work in progress. I am human. I make mistakes. I always will. There are days when my faith will be huge! There are days when my faith may not be as huge! But I am beginning each day with an intention of being the person God wants me to be. Some days I will fail, but God forgives, and I can forgive myself.

I know that God placed this friend in my path. I see that God orchestrated all of this and waited to see what I would do. Because as always, I had and have a choice. I can choose to live fully and continue healing from the inside out! That's what I choose.

I pray you have someone in your life that shows you God. I pray that if you have unresolved trauma, you have someone to help with that. And if you don't, let me know. I can point you to a Godly woman of science!